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06 December 2014 @ 03:08 pm
Bent, not Broken: ch 24  
Title: Bent, Not Broken
Chapters: 24/25 + epilogue
Fandoms: SS501, Super Junior, TVXQ, FT Island (cameo only)
Pairings: KyuJong/JungMin, YeSung/RyeoWook, HyunJoong/YoungSaeng, onesided!YunHo/YoungSaeng, past!YunHo/HeeBon
Rating: R overall
Warnings: Substance abuse, homophobia, character death, harsh subject matter
Summary: Happiness isn't easy to find when the world tells you that you don't deserve it. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to realize happiness was in front of you the whole time.

Watching what was going on quietly, YunHo glanced at YoungSaeng before movement near the door caught his attention. He saw a middle-aged man and woman hovering near the door watching them, and frowned lightly. Straightening and noticing the look on YunHo's face, RyeoWook glanced towards the doorway. His eyes widened in shock, mind blanking.

"…Umma?" He slowly stood up, letting go of JongWoon's hand. "Appa?"

Both his parents looked highly uncomfortable, his father's expression closed off. It was his mother who spoke. "RyeoWook…can your father and I have a word with you?"

"I…" RyeoWook looked back at JongWoon, then JungMin. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," JongWoon nodded, giving RyeoWook a supportive smile. He really hoped this would go well. For everyone's sake.

JungMin wasn't quite so optimistic, putting a hand on RyeoWook's arm. "What are you doing?" he asked quietly, not taking his eyes away from the other man's parents. "Don't do it Wook."

RyeoWook swallowed at the familiar words. "They just want to talk," he whispered, still dazed from the knowledge his parents were actually here. "That's all."

"I'm coming with you," JungMin said.

"Hey, he's an adult," JongWoon said, frowning at JungMin. "He'll be fine."

RyeoWook heard them both, but it was JungMin's words he latched onto, needing the security his best friend gave him. "…Okay," he nodded, drawing in a breath. "I'll be back," he gave JongWoon a tight smile before stepping away from the table and to where his parents were. "Let's talk outside?"

"Who's this?" His father frowned at JungMin when the other man followed. "We want to talk to you alone."

"This is my best friend," RyeoWook lifted his chin a little. "He's coming along."

"…Fine." His father turned to step out of the restaurant. His mother cast the rest of the group at the table a nervous look before following.

JungMin followed, keeping close to RyeoWook as they left the restaurant. He didn't want to interfere in RyeoWook's business, but he knew far too well what his best friend's parents were capable of. RyeoWook had already told him about their plan to "fix" him at some camp and JungMin didn't believe for a second they were here just to talk. Arms crossed, he stopped a little ways away from where they were so he could be there if RyeoWook needed him.

RyeoWook looked at JungMin before turning back to his parents. He forced a smile, holding onto the hope that maybe they were here because they regretted disowning him. "So…what did you want to talk about?"

"Honey…" His mother glanced at his father before turning back to RyeoWook. "We're sorry for how we left last time we met. You must have been very scared. We shouldn't have pushed you away like that."

Some of the tension in RyeoWook's shoulders eased. "Umma…"

"Wookie, you're still our son." She rested her hands lightly on his shoulders. "That's why we're going to help you through this, okay?"

"…Help me? Umma, I don't need any help," RyeoWook shook his head slowly, biting his lower lip.

"I understand, you're very confused right now. I don't know if it was something I or your father did, or something happened when you were little, but it'll be okay. You've always been such a good son, RyeoWook, more than we could have ever hoped for. I know God would forgive you if you turned back to him."

RyeoWook's throat closed, eyes going between them. "I'm not confused…nothing's wrong with me," he whispered. "I love JongWoon, we're getting married."

"RyeoWook," it was his father who responded then, voice the same low comforting rumble as always. "It is a sin to love another man. You know this. I don't want to see my son suffer…we can help you."

"You're wrong…" RyeoWook blinked back tears, looking down at the ground with shaking shoulders. "You're wrong…" There was nothing wrong with him. Was there? Was there something seriously wrong with him? Was it such a bad thing to be in love?

"Sweetie, come with us," his mother smoothed his hair back out of his face. "It'll be okay, we can still fix this."

JungMin was far enough away that he couldn't hear what was being said, though he did try. It was hard to tell if they were apologizing to him, or twisting his head around in knots. "Everything okay Wook?" he spoke up.

RyeoWook's gaze lifted, looking at JungMin. His eyes were wide and tear-filled. "Hyung…"

"RyeoWook, these people are just going to hurt you," his mother insisted, pulling her son's attention back. "You trust your mother, right? You trust your father? Come with us, before these people can confuse you anymore." RyeoWook didn't stop her from drawing him away from the restaurant, unable to think straight.

"... Hey!" JungMin's arms dropped and he started walking towards them. "Wook, where are you going? Let's go back inside," he said. "JongWoon's going to be worried."

Snapped out of it, RyeoWook pulled back out of his mother's grip. "No…I'm not going with you," he said, tears falling. "I'm…There's nothing wrong with me!"

"RyeoWook, do the right thing," his father said. "You know this is going to damn you."

"So what?" JungMin said, coming beside RyeoWook and putting an arm around him. "God made him the way he is, and if he's a sinner then you take it up with God. Stop making him feel miserable because of who he is. Do you have any idea what kind of hell you've put him through? Because of you he almost died. I'm not letting that happen again. Come on Wook, we've got a party to get back to."

"Sweetie, please don't do this," his mother pleaded.

"…Don't." RyeoWook's shoulders shook. "Don't come see me anymore. If that's what you think of me, don't call or visit. Nothing…nothing is wrong with me." He held onto JungMin tightly as he turned to go back into the restaurant.

JungMin thought better about saying anything more to RyeoWook's parents as they walked back to the doors. Before they went in though, he stopped and crouched a little to look into RyeoWook's eyes. "Hey, are you going to be okay?" he asked softly.

The tears had yet to stop falling, RyeoWook's body tense and trembling. The younger man could only shake his head mutely before wrapping his arms tightly around his best friend. He buried his face against JungMin's shoulder and clutched his shirt with white-knuckled fingers.

JungMin sighed softly, his arms going around RyeoWook's shoulders and held him tightly. "It's going to be okay Wook. We'll get through this, just like we did before. They can't hurt you anymore."

It took a moment for RyeoWook to recover enough to talk, holding on with everything he had. "Thank you," he whispered finally, voice cracking. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Well, feeling's mutual," JungMin said. "I'd be dead in a ditch somewhere if it wasn't for you keeping me grounded. We'll always look out for each other right?"

Sniffling, RyeoWook pulled back a little and nodded, wiping at his eyes. "Right… always." If it hadn't been for JungMin, he might have actually gone with them…and then who knew what would have happened. "I just need a moment…can't see JongWoon's parents like this…"

"What, you look cute all red faced and puffy eyed," JungMin said. "I'll wait here with you, just let me know when you're ready."

Nodding, RyeoWook rested his head back against JungMin's shoulder and closed his eyes, exhaling shakily.

He didn't know how long they were out there for, but he finally realized that if they didn't go back soon, JongWoon would probably come out looking for them. "Okay…I'm okay," he pulled back, trying to make sure all traces of tears were gone.

"Alright, let's go then," JungMin smiled, leading him over to the door.

They didn't even reach it and JongWoon was coming out, looking at RyeoWook in worry. "Hey... is everything okay? What took so long?"

"There was a difference of opinion about where RyeoWook belonged," JungMin said. "I think we can agree he made the right choice."

"...Wook?" JongWoon blinked a little at him. "What happened?"

RyeoWook knew that if he tried to explain now, he'd just end up in tears again. "I'll tell you later," he looked up at his fiancé. Even so, he couldn't help but step forward and wrap his arms around JongWoon, burying his face in his fiancé's shirt. "I'm sorry for taking so long."

"You don't have to apologize for something that wasn't your fault," JongWoon said, holding onto RyeoWook tightly. He gave a small nod of thanks to JungMin who returned the nod before going inside. "Do you want to just go home? I can reschedule this."

"But your parents are in there," RyeoWook said into JongWoon's shirt. "We can't just leave…this was supposed to be our party."

"Yeah... maybe we shouldn't invite family to our parties from now on," JongWoon said, running a hand through RyeoWook's hair lightly. "It's up to you. You are my number one priority so whatever you want to do, we'll do it okay?"

"Okay," RyeoWook whispered, holding onto JongWoon tighter. After a moment he pulled back. His eyes were noticeably dimmed, but he put on a small smile. "Let's finish our party…then go home and talk."

"Sounds good to me," JongWoon said, leaning in to place a light kiss to RyeoWook's forehead. He led RyeoWook back inside and to his seat, making sure he was okay before retaking his own seat. He had avoided looking at his parents, but now sitting next to them he could tell there was a bit of concern in their expressions and posture.

"Everything alright JongWoon?" his father asked and JongWoon nodded.

"Yes, everything's fine now," JongWoon replied. He didn't fail to see the look that passed between his parents. But he was a little surprised when his mother leaned a little over the table.

"RyeoWook?" she said, a hesitant smile on her face. "What would you recommend for dinner?"

Looking up at her, RyeoWook was just as surprised as JongWoon by the question. "Um…the filet mignon's very good," he said, a small smile curling his lips after a moment. "And their pasta dishes."

"Maybe I'll try the ravioli," she said, smiling a little at him.

"I'll try the filet," JongWoon's father said. "JongWoon... I've been meaning to speak to you about your performance at work, I'd like you to come in tomorrow a little early so we can discuss it."

"But Dad, I had plans with Wook," JongWoon said, frowning a little.

"I'm sure whatever it is can be put off until later, but you need to be in tomorrow at 8 sharp," the man said.

"It's fine," RyeoWook looked up at JongWoon. "Just let me know when you'll be back so I can plan us a nice dinner, okay?" he smiled at his fiancé.

"I'll try not to be out too late," JongWoon murmured, leaning over to kiss RyeoWook's cheek.

"How about we have a toast, or eat or something, I'm bored," JungMin said. "This is supposed to be a party."

"A toast sounds fantastic," KyuJong perked up too at that, smiling widely. He picked up his glass, holding it up. "To the absolutely adorable soon-to-be-weds, and their happiness?"

"Hear, hear," YunHo smiled, lifting his glass as well.

"Well, thank you for coming, all of you," JongWoon said, lifting his glass as well. "I don't think Wook and I would be where we are without all of you. Even if I don't know half of you, you're all important to us. Especially you Mr. Photographer who is going to get us a great discount on our wedding photos."

"Just give me a date and a place, and I'll be there," YunHo grinned. "I'll give you my business card after dinner."

Joining the others in lifting his glass, RyeoWook's smile finally widened into a proper one, eyes crinkling slightly. "Thank you…everyone."

"No, thank you, Wook," JungMin said, tapping his water glass against his best friend's. "I really hope you two have a long and amazing life together. I don't know two people who deserve it more. Congratulations."

"…Oh Min, don't make him cry," KyuJong chuckled softly as RyeoWook's eyes became watery again.

"Sorry," RyeoWook laughed, wiping at his eyes as he lowered his glass. "Let's get something to eat?"

"Yes, please, I'm starving," JungMin said, looking down at his menu.

Hiding behind his glass of wine, YoungSaeng had watched the night unfold thus far quietly. He hadn't been the only one to see something had happened outside of the restaurant, but it was obvious RyeoWook wasn't prepared to talk about it with people he didn't know.

Seeing JongWoon and RyeoWook together though made him more than a little envious. They had such a strong relationship, and they really did seem suited for each other. Sipping at his drink, he lowered his eyes to the table, feeling more alone than ever.

YoungSaeng's silence didn't go unnoticed. As the rest of the table turned towards ordering from the waitress who'd arrived at the table, YunHo nudged YoungSaeng's side gently.

"Are you okay?" he murmured, gaze concerned.

"Hm?" YoungSaeng looked up at him, nodding a little. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said, averting his gaze out the window. "Just... makes me wish I had someone I guess."

YunHo smiled sadly. "…You will one day," he said quietly, hand lightly on YoungSaeng's shoulder before letting go.

"...Yeah," YoungSaeng said, taking a sip of his wine. "One day."

The rest of the party went calmly, compared to how it started. There was still some tension in the air, and a sense of avoiding certain topics, but RyeoWook enjoyed himself. Even with the conversation with his parents constantly playing in the back of his head, he did his best to ignore it, and when he couldn't found either JongWoon's or JungMin's hand under the table.

Even so, he was a little glad when dinner was over and the group slowly dispersed for the night. JongWoon's parents were the first to go, YunHo leaving shortly after (though not without giving JongWoon his business card). RyeoWook got another hug from his best friend, holding onto JungMin for a long moment. Finally KyuJong, JungMin and YoungSaeng left as well, and it was just the two of them again, heading back to their apartment.

"As nice as that was, I'm a little glad it's over," RyeoWook said as they stepped into their apartment.

"Me too," JongWoon said, closing the door behind them. Pulling RyeoWook into a hug before they even had their shoes off, he sighed heavily. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have invited them, I had really hoped it would turn out better."

"It's okay," RyeoWook closed his eyes, resting his head against JongWoon's shoulder and holding onto his fiancé tightly. "It's not your fault…I hoped it would go better too."

"The past couple of days has been a real roller coaster," JongWoon said, running his hand up and down RyeoWook's back. "What do you say we get ourselves a glass of wine, sit down, and finally talk about everything?"

RyeoWook nodded slowly, reluctantly letting go of JongWoon and stepping back. "We've got a lot to talk about," he tried a small smile.

"Yeah, we do," JongWoon agreed. "I'll get the wine, you go relax," he said, giving RyeoWook a kiss to the forehead before heading towards the kitchen. It only took a couple of minutes before he returned with two glasses and an open bottle of red wine.

RyeoWook was curled up on the couch by the time JongWoon came back, playing with his necklace. "Thank you," he took his glass from JongWoon, cradling it in both hands as he watched the older man sit down. "So…want to go first?"

JongWoon frowned, sipping at his glass before setting it down on the table. "I'm not sure where to start. I know I have done some things that put us in jeopardy, and I'm really truly sorry about that. I only did what I thought was best for us."

"How did it get like this, though?" RyeoWook asked quietly. "I didn't…get the full story from your dad."

"It's stupid," JongWoon shook his head. "You know how my parents have felt about me being with you. It's never been that they didn't like you, they always thought it was me just... playing around and that I wasn't taking things seriously. I know I grew up spoiled, and I've lived a spoiled life right up until a couple weeks ago."

Leaning back in his seat, JongWoon found it hard to look at RyeoWook as he talked. "My parents never wanted their kids to go without as long as we were doing the right thing. My dad got it in his head that you were some kind of gold digging mooch, and I was buying you all these expensive gifts and just wasting money. Buying your ring was the last straw for him, he didn't know why I had bought the ring. Even after I told him that we were getting married, he... I don't know. He never thinks I'm serious about anything. After I bought the ring he cut me off and told me that I had to help out with the company before he'd let me have access to my money again."

RyeoWook listened to JongWoon talk, placing his glass down on the table. "…Why didn't you tell me what was going on?" he asked, looking at the older man. "Why did you have to lie to me about where you were going every day?"

"I didn't want you to know that he was putting me through all of that because of you," JongWoon said. "Because it's not your fault, and I shouldn't burden you with that."

"Regardless of whether it's my fault or not…we're getting married, JongWoon." RyeoWook covered JongWoon's hand with his own. "We're together not just for the good things, but the bad things too. Promise me if something ever comes up again, you'll tell me."

JongWoon looked up at him, lips quirking a little as he nodded. "I promise... I don't like keeping secrets from you. I think I developed an ulcer from the stress of it all."

"You're many things, but a good liar isn't one of them," RyeoWook gave JongWoon a wry smile. "You can't stay still and don't look anyone in the eye."

"I know, and I don't like lying to you at all," JongWoon said. "From now on, I'll let you know about anything thing my dad decides to put on my shoulders. Whether you like it or not."

"Good." RyeoWook settled against JongWoon's side. "As long as you tell me, that's all that matters. We can figure out how to deal with it together."

"Exactly," JongWoon agreed, adjusting a little so he could put an arm around RyeoWook's shoulder. "So... what happened with your parents?"

RyeoWook was quiet for a moment, fingers playing with JongWoon's sleeve. "…They tried to convince me to leave," he said finally, voice quiet.

"Well obviously you didn't listen, otherwise you wouldn't be here right now," JongWoon said, frowning a little. "What'd you say to them?"

"I didn't really say anything…JungMin said most of it," RyeoWook replied. "All I said was that there's nothing wrong with me, and not to come by again. I don't know what I would have done if JungMin hadn't been there."

"I guess I'm glad he was there too... but how did he know that would happen?" JongWoon asked. "I mean... he was pretty defensive the second your parents walked in the door."

That took a bit longer for RyeoWook to answer, faltering for a moment before he sighed. "I never told you how JungMin and I met, did I?" he asked quietly.

"Not really. You guys have kind of danced around it, but I figured that was because you guys hooked up or something and didn't want me to know," JongWoon said. "Did something happen?"

RyeoWook continued to play with JongWoon's sleeve, eyes on the material. "The night we met, JungMin stopped me from jumping in front of a train and killing myself."

JongWoon's eyes widened and he pulled away enough so he look at RyeoWook properly, searching his fiancé’s eyes. He had to be telling the truth about something like that, right? "... Wook... what happened?" he asked.

Gazing into JongWoon's eyes, RyeoWook had to look away to collect himself. Drawing in a deep breath, he started to tell JongWoon about the night he'd almost succeeded in suicide, and met the man who would be his best friend for years to come.

Throughout the day, the Seoul subway system was always teeming with people. People heading to work, to school, to the market. After the sun had set and all but the nightclubs and bars had closed, the subway became a ghost town. Even the more popular stations saw only a couple travelers with each train.

The smaller station near Insadong was empty, save for a small figure sitting on a bench. RyeoWook had his legs drawn up to his chest, one hand clutching his cross necklace so hard it left marks in his skin. The tears had long since dried on his cheeks, bleak gaze half-focused on the tunnel where the subway would emerge. The wind coming from the tunnel blew at a scrap paper dropped by his feet, torn out of a notebook with various times and numbers scrawled down in a bleeding black ink.

With every other bench in the station completely empty, it was curious why someone would sit down next to the only other person there. "Hey, want a fish cake?" the newcomer said, holding out the snack on a stick. "Just got it from a stall upstairs," he said with a grin.

RyeoWook didn't even look at the stranger who'd sat down beside him so nonchalantly. It took him a moment to realize someone had spoken to him, and he swallowed to bring moisture back to his dry throat. "No thank you," he murmured, voice scratchy from too many hours crying.

"You sure? I've got an extra one," the other said, holding it out to him. "My date got pissed at me and left so now I've got this fish cake that I'm not going to eat. Can I ask you a question?"

Why was this person still talking to him? "…What?" RyeoWook asked, grip tightening on the cross in his hand. He'd wanted to be alone. He hadn't wanted anyone else to be here.

"Tell me if this would bother you, you seem like a normal guy," the stranger said, biting into the fish cake as he talked. "Say you're out with someone, and you think they're pretty awesome. Date's going good, you invite them back to your apartment right? That's a pretty clear invitation for what's going to happen later okay? So would it bother you if said date got on their phone the second you get them to your apartment, and you find out it was their mom they called? I mean... I wasn't pulling down his pants for
my benefit, why should I listen to him talk to his mom while I'm trying to get him off."

It took a moment for the stranger's words to sink in, but when they did the tremors returned to RyeoWook's hands. No…God couldn't be so cruel to do this to him, right now. It had to be the devil, but RyeoWook didn't understand why, he'd have him soon anyways.

"Why…why are you asking me this?" he croaked, gaze finally focusing on something other than the tunnel. "You…horrible…
sinners…just leave me alone!"

The stranger blinked a little at the outburst, his eyes narrowing. "What? Hey... I wasn't coming on to you, I swear," he said, holding his hands up in defense. "I was just trying to have a conversation... you looked like you could use a friend."

"I don't want to talk to you. Take your wicked thoughts away, I don't want them!" The words that had started angry petered out with a choke, because he lacked the energy to be mad anymore.

"Don't want them...?" the other repeated, looking more than a little confused until a wave of understanding hit and his expression softened. "Hey, listen... I'm sorry, I didn't know. Do you need help?"

A wave of panic made it hard to breathe. "I don't need your help." RyeoWook let go of his legs so he could push himself away from the stranger. "Just leave me alone." His foot slipped off the bench and crunched the paper with all the train times.

"I think you do need help," the other said, watching him warily. "I've been there, I understand. You don't have to do this alone."

"No, no." He had to move. RyeoWook got up from the bench and backed away towards the train tracks, shaking his head. "I'm not like you. I’m not a bad person, I'm

"You're right, you're not a bad person," the man said, getting to his feet to follow him. His eyes widened when he heard the train coming. It would be here in moments. "Just... come sit down, please... don't do whatever it is you're thinking. This isn't the answer."

RyeoWook stopped. Just under the heels of his feet he felt the raised bumps that warned for the edge of the platform. His whole form was shaking now, and he didn't know if it was from the conversation or the realization that the train was finally coming. "There is no answer. I'm going to hell, no matter what."

"Do you really believe God would make you the way you are just to punish you?" the man asked. "God is supposed to be forgiving, that's what all the priests told me growing up and it's what I choose to believe. I can help you, please let me," he said, holding his hand out.

Tears were streaming down his cheeks now, RyeoWook acutely aware of the cross held tightly in one hand. He'd come down here to this deserted station for one thing, and it was so close now, all he had to do was step back. It would all be over. All the pain and tortured thoughts, listening to the preachers, his parents, everyone he knew cry 'sinner'…all gone.

Gulping back the tears, RyeoWook looked at the offered hand. What did he do? Stepping back took courage, but so did stepping forward. He wanted the pain to be over…but he didn't want to die. He didn't want to die.

Reaching out, RyeoWook cried out when the subway went rushing by behind him, it's horn deafening and the wind plucking at his clothes, catching them. He jumped forward and crashed into the stranger as the subway continued on to a slow stop.

Only stumbling a little at the sudden weight, they managed to stay upright as the man put his arms around RyeoWook and held onto him. He let RyeoWook take a few moments to recover before pulling back a little to look down at him. "It's going to be okay," he said with a warm smile. "I'm JungMin, what's your name?"

Trembling and listening to the hiss of the subway behind him, RyeoWook slowly lifted his eyes to meet the other man's. He didn't understand the smile he was given, why a horrible person like him deserved such a thing, but it did help a little.


"It's nice to meet you RyeoWook," JungMin said. "Why don't I take you home and we can talk. I'll help you get through this."

"I…my parents…my parents are home," RyeoWook whispered, unable to stop the tears. "I can't see them like this…I just can't."

"Right... we'll go to my place," JungMin said. "You can meet a couple friends of mine that I stay with. It's a safe place, and if you need to stay there for a while, it'll be okay."

RyeoWook didn't reply to that right away, feeling the weight of the cross against his chest; he'd let go of it when the subway startled him. "Why did you stop me? I don't want to live like this. I just want to be normal, be a good, worthy person," he whispered, voice wavering.

"I don't know about all that, all I know is being who you are isn't worth dying over," JungMin said. "There's nothing wrong with us."

RyeoWook looked down. "Homosexuality is a sin," he said. "Isn't it better to die than to live sinfully?"

"Is it a sin though? Quote me the exact passage where god says homosexuality is a sin," JungMin said. "And even if it is, why would you want to run right into eternal damnation? Give it twenty or thirty years of feeling good and being happy before you spend eternity miserable. At least then you'll have something fond to think of."

"I don't want to be damned," tears spilled down RyeoWook's cheeks. "I want to be happy."

"Then be happy," JungMin replied softly. "Let's go somewhere and talk okay?"

RyeoWook could have turned away then. He could have refused, gotten on the subway and left, never to see this stranger again. When he would look back on this moment later, he didn't think he would have lived much longer after that.


JongWoon leaned back a little as RyeoWook finished the story. "...So, when you say that JungMin saved your life, you weren't meaning that in a.... metaphorical sense then."

RyeoWook shook his head, looking down. At some point while talking, he'd switched from playing with JongWoon's sleeve to fiddling with the cross necklace hanging around his neck. "I would be long dead if it weren't for him. I don't even remember how many times he'd take my calls at the weirdest time of night and just talk to me, because I was about to do something stupid again."

"I'm sorry... I honestly had no idea he helped you that much," JongWoon said softly. "How come you never told me about this before? I would have been nicer to him if I'd have known."

"Would you want to tell anyone you were suicidal?" RyeoWook asked, voice cracking a little. "I thought it was all behind me, and I didn't want to go through it again if I didn't have to."

"It doesn't matter what I would do.. but Wook, you're not having those same thoughts again are you?" JongWoon asked, his expression worried. "Do you feel like you can't talk to me about these things?"

"I didn't feel like I could, no," RyeoWook murmured. "You weren't around, and I didn't know if I'd done something wrong, or you were rethinking marrying me. And then my parents, and just…it was a lot."

JongWoon exhaled slowly at that, hanging his head. "I'm sorry Wook... I really am. I had no idea how badly I had messed up. I never once thought about not marrying you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me... I'm sorry I wasn't there for you like I should have been."

RyeoWook rested his head lightly against JongWoon's shoulder, closing his eyes against the tears. "You're the best part of my life…you're the reason I get up every day," he said quietly. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I don't know what I'd do with you either Wook, you've given me real meaning in my life. I don't think I can ever thank you enough for that," JongWoon said, brushing his lips over RyeoWook's temple. "I love you."

"I love you too," RyeoWook smiled, turning his face against JongWoon's shoulder. "This isn't wrong."

"No, it's not," JongWoon replied. "Nothing that can make two people this happy could ever be wrong."

"I didn't always know that," the younger man murmured. "But now I do." Maybe he wouldn't be okay again right away…but he knew as long as he had JongWoon, he'd get through this again. And they could finally be happy.
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: 밤을 날아서 (Flying, deep in the night) – Cho Kyuhyun
renichifreakrenichifreak on December 7th, 2014 12:28 am (UTC)
/turns into a flailing ball of feels

Way to make me love you even more Jungmin
연아 (YeonAh): JungMin - Smile~!!!yeonah on December 8th, 2014 07:56 pm (UTC)
Jungmin wins all the awards ever.
/cuddles you <3
TahJae0025tahjae0025 on December 7th, 2014 01:07 am (UTC)
Jungmin you horse! I love you so much for saving Wookie! T_T


and I can't even think of anything to say even after re-reading...I just can't...


and no cliff diving...at all...
연아 (YeonAh): JungMin - Cute!yeonah on December 8th, 2014 07:57 pm (UTC)
Nope, no cliff diving /hugs

Hope this clears up their friendship a bit, and why they got so close ^^
seeenoseeeno on December 7th, 2014 09:59 pm (UTC)
I was half right! I had a feeling Ryeowook's parents weren't going to be so easily swayed by as little as an invitation to an engagement party. But I was pleasantly surprised to see Jongwoon's parents extending an olive branch! I gasped and there were almost happy tears ;u;

Sooo glad that Jungmin had the foresight to accompany Ryeowook to talk with his parents. It's difficult to push your parents away, even if they're so very toxic, and I shudder to think what would have happened had Ryeowook been alone and his parents' psychological warfare-esque tactics had succeeded (though I'm not as tactful as Jungmin, I'd have had words with those bigots :/ )

That said, I'm slightly confused -- in chapter 10, Ryeowook came out as gay to his parents but from this flashback it seemed like they knew he was gay from a long time ago? Or am I misinterpreting the flashback and it was that his parents and his religious community outwardly condemned homosexuality and he just internalized that as a direct attack on himself? I can see him being tortured so much by the sheer thought that his parents would view him as a sinner that it would drive him to suicide but I just want to make sure I'm understanding that scene correctly.

Thank you for your update! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in the last chapter and the epilogue!
연아 (YeonAh): RyeoWook - Breakdown 1yeonah on December 8th, 2014 08:04 pm (UTC)
Calling Jungmin tactful is usually a stretch of the imagination, but yeah, he handled this well. I would have probably beaten the two of them over the head with a mallet myself.

Your second interpretation was right ^^ Ryeowook's parents had no idea he's gay, but when you live in an environment that toxic towards homosexuality it can be very devastating. That said not all religious communities are against lgbt, but those that are...have said and done some ridiculous things, and Ryeowook grew up in that kind of environment. Internalized homophobia can be just as damaging, if not more, than having it shouted at your face. It was less that his parents would think of him as a sinner and more that he himself truly believed what they said.

Serious convo aside, we're glad you liked this update!! <3